Two-and-a-half years after I saw them last play in person, the Dookies still stir up some feeling of contempt and hatred within me. There they were last night, a whole new class of players, in Beijing of all places! I wore a white top with a light blue skirt and proudly stuck a Tarheel sticker on my cheek. Maybe a hundred Duke alum congregated at Wukesong Arena to cheer on their alma mater, which was playing in a series of friendly matches between U.S. universities and Chinese professional teams. Another large group of UNC supporters also showed up for their chance to root for whoever isn’t Duke. In this case, it was the Chinese Olympic team. All I have to say is, zhong guo jia you!

Alas, wow, Chinese professional athletes are pretty bad. I mean, they seemed slow and a little confused against the Duke players. They were also sloppy: more than once, a Duke player just poked the ball out of a Chinese player’s hands while he was deciding his next move. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, the Dookies were a very athletic team with a good chemistry. Lots of theatrical dunks and alley-oops for the crowd, which gobbled them up with generous applause. There was a time when Duke was up 13-3 and another time, a short time after the first time, when it was up 28-6. But China did battle back, coming to within three points in the third quarter. But they lost 93-78.

Of course, what everyone was hoping for didn’t happen. My friends and I were sitting nearer to the top, 24 rows back from the court, so we couldn’t hear what was going on, on the court. But according to a friend of a friend, who works for a U.S. broadcaster, there were cursing, dirty looks and rage, especially on the part of one Coach K. There also were, like in the Georgetown/Bayi match, an unusually high number of fouls called, especially on Duke. In the end, the only heckling came from us, when during a quieter period, we resorted to college antics and yelled a two-word phrase containing a curse word and “Duke.” And lest anyone take us too seriously, trash-talking is just a light-hearted way to stir up one of the country’s greatest rivalries in sports. It’s fun.

Speaking of light-heartedness, what’s up with the video game sound effects they use? A made free throw provokes a sound reminiscent of Mario getting a gold coin on Super NES or leveling up. A three-point attempt gets a pheeeeewoooop swooshy sound. And then, during play, they blasted snippets of random songs. They included Jibbs’s “Chain Hang Low” and — I’m not kidding — a sort of techno’d version of “If You’re Happy and You Know It.” Now I wonder if this is something they do at all matches, or just these friendlies, to you know, make it seem friendly.

I’m going home in 3 days! I can’t wrap my head around not having been State-side in more than a year. But alas, I’ll be home for Christmas in one of the most anticipated Christmases in the Yueh family history. My to-do list:

• Presents. Check! All bought.
• Money. Check! Converted. (Side note: a shit load of cash isn’t so cool when you’ve spent a year paying for really expensive things in cash. Has anyone seen 19,800 anything in denominations of 100? It’s amazing.)
• Apartment. 3/4 check! Mostly cleaned. Can’t have it dirty when the new year arrives.
• Christmas cards. 1/4 check. I’m in the process of converting non-Christmas cards into Christmas cards.
• Packing. No check :( But at least I got my suitcase back.

Meanwhile, Mark Zuckerberg is in Beijing. Shouldn’t he be banned since Facebook is? Especially if he might be coming here to … spy*? Just add him to the list of important people who have recently visited. Off the top my head, Dianne von Furstenberg and Anna Wintour.

*By spy, I mean research stealthily, which is what Time magazine and Forbes’ Oliver Chiang speculated.